I'm net \~$120 in the hole on some trades. My win rate is high, though my drawdown seems to be higher. I'm really just digging in for real with the live account, and keeping risk super low.
I had bull call spread running and some news happened. I chose to close with a $300 loss instead of waiting and risking a $710 loss. I closed the trade and 20 minutes later if I stayed in, I'd have profited $115. I want stab my eyes out, crush my testicles with a rubber mallet, and slice checker board patterns into my skin with a dull razor. No joke. Prior to this point I've done the things, learned the mechanics and made the plans. I'm no expert obviously, but I'm going for low risk and limited exposure. My loss isn't bad, I see how I can improve my choices, but my ego wants to see me suffer because I'm a loser. I understand losing is mathematically integral to trading, but this string of bad, panicked choices right off the rip is killing me this morning.
I definitely need to find more information on deciding when the thesis is truly broken.