Reddit took my META retirement post down but you can still view the comments [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/s/OlNGBmSVPM) and also the original yolo post [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/s/c54tAW2L4S) … mods won’t reinstate the gain post because at the time I had only realized 50% of the positions gains and its a rule that gain posts have to be 100% realized… Only today did I finally finish selling off the last of that META position. Officially profited nearly $600K USD off it. I love Zuck so much.
Anyway lots of you on my retirement post raised a valid argument… it’s not possible to retire from being a degenerate, especially not at the age of 21.
I’m currently in Thailand, and the other day I was gifted a 150mcg tab of LSD from a beautiful femboy… During the comedown of my trip I noticed the emotion of fear no longer existed within my consciousness, hence why I took these positions. Worst case scenario is I blow all the fiat, stay in Thailand permanently, and live out the rest of my days surviving off my Monero stash… not bad.
Since a decent portion of this sub has already reported me to the FBI, RCMP, SEC, and Interpol for being a crypto scammer, cyber criminal, international money launderer, and of course an insider trader (how else did I time the META play so well with no DD? 😹), I figured I might as well continue ~~insider tradi~~ng gambling until the feds get me. I plan to fully exit these positions before August (hopefully I don’t get extradited before then 💔) Afterwards I'Il consider putting whatever fiat currency I have in the recos of [r/bogleheads](r/bogleheads) like a good little boomer. WAGMI my fellow regards. Godspeed.
**Positions:**
45x - MSFT Sept 18th $400c
50x - MSFT Oct 16th $420c
35x - MSFT Nov 20th $400c
300x - NFLX Sept 18th $80c
100x - NFLX Nov 20th $80c
**Disclaimer:** Lots of the text content in this post is pure bait and satire for my own entertainment. I have taken these positions based on an actual thesis and standard sizing. I do not recommend tailing this play unless you actually do your own DD, share conviction, and can also afford the risk. Both companies have been absolute dogs lately and have piss poor sentiment… then again this is WSB, so ik you degens will just blindly gamble your Wendy's paychecks however you see fit. If you want to protect your $500 accounts, your best bet is prob to just to inverse me tbh. Thanks for reading my essay 🫡