The White House says 104% additional tariffs on China went into EFFECT at 12:00 PM ET today because China has not removed their 34% tariff

Oh, Donald, you absolute tariff tornado! A 104% tariff on China? What’s next, a 200% tax on oxygen because it’s “made in the atmosphere”?

You’re out here playing 4D chess with the economy, but it looks more like 2D checkers—and you’re losing to a pigeon. China’s already clapping back with their 34% tariff, and now you’ve got markets tanking faster than your approval ratings after a Twitter rant.

Over $1.5 trillion wiped out in two hours, and you’re probably sitting there with a Diet Coke, thinking, “This is fine, I’m a stable genius.” Newsflash, Don: the only thing stable here is the chaos you’ve created. You said you’d make America great again, but all I see is a great big mess.

The S&P 500 is doing a nosedive, investors are panicking, and your trade war is starting to look like a one-man economic demolition derby. China’s not backing down—they’re vowing to “fight until the end,” and you’ve just handed them the perfect excuse to tighten the screws on rare earth exports.

Good luck explaining to American manufacturers why their supply chains are now as functional as a chocolate teapot. Maybe you thought slapping a 104% tariff would make you look tough, but all it’s doing is making the rest of us look broke.

Keep this up, and the only thing you’ll be winning is a gold medal in self-sabotage. How about you tariff your ego instead—it’s the only thing inflating faster than these trade tensions!