* Theta is a parasite stealing value from our options EVERY DAY! Even the sabbath!
* Theta is one of the Greeks. Ancient Greeks had loser Gods that no one cares about now, and modern day Greeks are indebted and lazy.
* Theta looks like a r*tard version of an 8.
* Theta hides in the middle of the Greek alphabet like a little bitch
* If Theta were a kid, it would remind the teacher if they forgot to assign homework
* Theta was invented by brokers to force us to roll our options so they can collect more commissions. End this conspiracy!