Buy GOOG by Jun 28, 2026.

I'm being a little flip, but I was just looking at the charts for Altria out of curiosity... And the company is up at least 5x-8x since the tobacco settlements in 1998, depending on how you slice it. Granted, the markets have outperformed that, so maybe it's a laggard. But it's also literally kind of a dying business\*, whereas the upside for the hyperscalers (notably Alphabet, given Cloud, Waymo, and other Other Bets) seems to have some real runway. So …