Buy KMB by Feb 1, 2026.

Alright degenerates, here’s the pitch. Kimberly-Clark ($KMB) just did something Wall Street absolutely hates in the short term but loves five quarters later: they bought growth that actually prints money. They’re dropping $48.7 billion (cash + stock) to buy Kenvue ($KVUE) — that’s the company behind Tylenol, Band-Aid, Listerine, Zyrtec, Neutrogena, Johnson’s Baby, etc. Basically, they raided Johnson & Johnson’s medicine cabinet. KMB already owns Huggies, Kleenex, Kotex, Cottonelle. Add Kenvue’s lineup and you’ve got a monster with over $32 …