35F engineer considering trading full-time eventually. how long should I prove consistency first?

Hi everyone,
I’m 35, an engineer making about $121k/year. My husband makes about $161k/year in a stable engineering job. We don’t plan to have kids, have manageable expenses, and don’t own a house yet.
I work remotely now, but I’ll likely be hybrid soon, so I won’t be able to watch the market as much. Right now, managing both a demanding engineering job and trading has been difficult. I often end up working early mornings, evenings, or late at night to make up for time spent trading during market hours, and it has been exhausting. I’m also very introverted, so the independent nature of trading appeals to me, but I understand that lifestyle preference alone is not a reason to leave a stable career.
I tried trading during Covid, lost about $5k, and stopped. I restarted this year, began actively trading in late March, and started options in April. Total contributions are about $300k, and my account is currently around $464k, so I’m up roughly $164k. However, results have been volatile with meaningful drawdowns.
I know this is a very short track record and could be luck, market conditions, or taking too much risk. I’ve been learning through online resources and recently started studying trading more seriously.
My biggest issues are discipline, greed, and risk management. Sometimes I sell too early; other times I hold too long and give back gains. I mostly trade tech stocks. My current approach is a combination of stock swing trading and options, but recently stock swing trading has felt more manageable and consistent than options.
Outside this account, we have about $100k in retirement accounts and $15k in savings.
My questions:
How long should someone prove consistency before considering full-time trading?
Is averaging $10k/month realistic, or a dangerous goal for life planning?
What metrics would you track before making a career decision?
How much emergency cash would you keep outside the market?
How do you distinguish skill from a lucky market cycle?
Would you stay employed and trade part-time as long as possible?
At what point, if ever, would you leave a stable $121k job?
I’m not planning to quit anytime soon. I just want to understand what a responsible path looks like and what mistakes to avoid.
Appreciate any honest advice or personal experiences.

**Edit to clarify:** Of the roughly **$464k account**, about **$150k is long-term stock investments** I don’t plan to sell soon. I usually risk around **$5k–$10k per options trade**, use about **$50k–$100k for stock swing trades**, and keep the rest in **SPAXX at Fidelity** for interest when not deployed.